I Need a Content Warning for All. The. News.
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Photo by Elijah O'Donell on Unsplash |
I used to have the news playing in the background in the
mornings while I got ready for work. I would half pay attention while getting
dressed, but mostly I was listening for traffic updates for my trek to
Cincinnati through miles of highway traffic. I eventually had to stop this
morning ritual because stories about mothers murdering their children and
people being assaulted in their homes became too much for me and my anxiety to
bear. I won’t even get into what news of President Cheetoface McTwitterThumbs
does to my anxiety.
Who am I kidding, yes I will.
I love horror movies. The more it fucks with your head and
makes you see monsters in the shadows, the better. But nothing scares me more
than children in peril. I’ve heard A Quiet Place is masterful, but there’s no
way I could watch it – it’s nothing
but children in peril. Sadly, that’s what the news has become. There are
stories about mothers drowning their children in the bathtub, children being kidnapped
from their front yards, and school shooting after school shooting after school
shooting.
I can’t fucking take
it.
When I hear these stories, I picture my own children’s faces
and empathy makes me feel what I would feel if it were them in those
situations. My heart starts to race, tears sting my eyes, and the next thing I
know, Anxiety has hold of me and won’t let go. I spend the rest of the day
worrying about my babies and the pitiful America they have to live in.
Speaking of a pitiful America… I don’t have the anxieties
over our Dictator in Chief that some do. I know many who completely lost it
when he was elected. My level of anxiety hasn’t quite reached that point.
Mostly I’m annoyed with his childish behavior and appalled that people think it’s
okay to act like him – to degrade women and minorities, simply because they’re
white men.
This morning I saw that he tweeted “BE CAUTIOUS” to the
Iranian president. What the ever-loving fuck?! Why is he still allowed access
to social media?! Do you want to start a war, because that’s how you start a
war. If this doesn’t cause you anxiety, you’re not paying attention.
And that’s part of the problem. So I try not to pay
attention.
My anxiety isn’t going to make the situation better. Yes, I
know, I could protest, I could call my congressmen, etc. There are a number of
things I could do. But Anxiety won’t let me do those things. That involves
peopling, and I don’t do peopling.
So I pretend I live in a happy bubble where our country hasn’t
gone to shit. Because when I pay attention, I start to worry about the mayhem
this doofus could cause in the next few years. I worry about the refugee
children who have been taken from their families (there we go with the children
in peril again) and the gays who can’t order a fucking wedding cake without
being judged and ridiculed.
Then I end up in the fetal position on the floor, afraid to
leave my home. That’s not productive.
So I turn a blind eye, try to ignore the negativity on
social media, and hope for the best. I’m a closet optimist. I have to believe
it’ll be okay. If I don’t, what’s the point in living?
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