Back on Track

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

I have been slacking on the posts the last two weeks! It’s been a rollercoaster. I think I’m out of the woods with the depression, so that’s good. Don’t worry though, Anxiety is still hanging on strong!

Rewind to two weeks ago:
My grandpa passed away. You know, as you get older, it happens. But that doesn’t make it any easier. He was such a sweet old man, and I hate that he was alone when he passed. My heart breaks for him.

So along with that came breaking the news to my young children – my daughter bawled – and dealing with relatives. I’m not super close with my extended family. I have nothing in common with most of them. It’s not a bad thing, I love them, I’m just much more liberal than them, and queer. We don’t talk about my queerness. Or politics.

All of this brought out the anxiety, but everything went fairly smoothly, and my anxiety was put at ease.I learned a lot about transporting a deceased relative across state lines. So, that's a thing I know about now. 

I reconnected with a former coworker and went on a date. Again, Anxiety crept up on me, but was quickly put at ease and it went great. Pretty sure I'm now being ghosted by said coworker, so anxiety is back, but it's not driving me completely crazy, so that's... something... I guess... [Good news, I wasn't ghosted! He just had phone problems. Woo!]

After missing three days of work I went back to so much to do. It was overwhelming, and Anxiety reared its ugly head. But I organized everything I had to do and started knocking it all out one by one, and Anxiety was put to rest.

I'm still stressed out at work, but I'm managing it. And my personal life is even more stressful, but I haven't had a breakdown yet, so I guess that's progress.

Keep your heads up, Cucumbers. Life can get really, really rough. But we've made it through all the bad days so far, so I know we'll make it through all the bad days to come. 

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