Queer Erasure


artist Tikva Wolf
I came across the above gem on Kimchi Cuddles the other day.

I love me some Deadpool. He’s sarcastic, he’s funny, he’s played by Ryan Reynolds (who is oh-so-yummy), and best of all – he’s queer. When I saw the many articles about Marvel’s first queer superhero, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, I was confused. She’s not the first! Deadpool is pansexual! But, Deadpool hasn’t been depicted onscreen with a romantic interest other than a woman, so despite the fact that he has said he’s pan, that’s not good enough for the media.

I relate to this SO much. I mean, the media is always up in my business.

Kidding. I’m a ninja, they don’t even know I exist. Mwahahaha!

In the comic above, Deadpool mentions that he’s being bi-erased in his own show. I haven’t seen Deadpool 2 yet, so I don’t know if they focus on his sexuality at all, but bi-erasure is very real. Every bisexual person has heard “it’s just a phase,” or “I told you you’re not bi,” when dating a cis person of the opposite sex.  

There were hundreds of comments on the comic about the fact that he says he’s being bi-erased. It was War of the Queerfolk in that comment section. Again, Deadpool has said he is pansexual. There were people saying bi and pan are essentially the same thing (um, no they’re not), that pan is a type of bi the same as bi is a type of queer (okay, maybe…?), and then so many people saying “Don’t invalidate my identity!”  

Their feelings are valid. Bi is not the same as pan. Sometimes I’ll say I’m bi because it’s more commonly known than pan or omni, which is actually what I identify as (and sometimes I’ll say  pan instead of omni because no one has heard of omni), and I shouldn’t do that, because then I’m invalidating my true identity. Why should I make it easier for others to understand who I am? Why shouldn’t I just claim my sexuality, regardless of what the person I’m talking to understands? [For an explanation of the difference between pan and omni, click here.]

In response to those comments, the artist then posted this, with an edit pointing out the error:



I love it. You claim your sexuality, Deadpool! I also love that the artist listened to the concerns of their fans, and while they did point out that Deadpool has claimed at various times to be bi or pan, they made an edit that went even further to show that it’s not just an issue of bi-erasure.

I have anxiety over bi-erasure (or pan-erasure, or omni-erasure, it applies to all three.) It took me so long to come out, and now that I am out, I’m owning that shit. And yet, when I’m with my boyfriend, I know people see me as a typical straight chick because I don’t look queer. I feel like I need to wear a neon sign proclaiming my sexual identity just to make sure no one is mistaken.

Why do I care what other people think, you may ask? Because Anxiety is a dick and says I should care.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mom, Don't Read This One: Anxiety and My Sex Life

Sexual Abuse

Guest Post: Divorce Has Changed Me; Focusing on Self-Love