I'm a Mind Reader!
Photo by Kat Smith from Pexels
I’m a mind-reader… or so Anxiety tries to lead me to
believe. If someone says something has come up and they have to cancel our plans,
I convince myself (or rather, Anxiety convinces me) that whatever excuse they
give is paper-thin, and the real reason is because anything in the world they
could possibly come up with would be better than spending any amount of time
with me.
There is pretty much always a war going on in my head - Anxiety
telling me one thing, and my logical mind arguing another. Sometimes Anxiety
wins, sometimes logic does. But even when logic wins, Anxiety is there,
whispering in my ear, making me question everything.
So when I’m excited about plans, and not already finding
ways to get out of them (as Anxiety makes me do so often) and the other person
cancels, obviously it’s because they’ve
realized I’m not worth their time. Obviously
they only made plans with me in the first place because they felt sorry for me
or had not yet realized how completely boring I am.
I know this because I read minds.
What’s even worse is when I decide they don’t want to be
around me because of my anxiety. I
know how annoying it is. Believe me, I
know. Who would want to spend time with a person who is constantly
second-guessing every word you speak and every move you make?
Sure, I can be funny. I have my moments, I can be fun to be around. But with all
that anxious electricity buzzing around me constantly, is it worth it? Surely
not. I know – I read minds, after all.
Okay, so maybe I’m not a mind-reader. But I’m really good at convincing myself I know
exactly what’s going on in other people’s heads. My logical mind doesn’t stand
a chance against Anxiety, but I’m stubborn. I’ll keep fighting it.
Wanna place bets on who wins?
Ummm... Clearly you are going to be the winner. Duh.
ReplyDelete