I'm a Mind Reader!
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I’m a mind-reader… or so Anxiety tries to lead me to believe. If someone says something has come up and they have to cancel our plans, I convince myself (or rather, Anxiety convinces me) that whatever excuse they give is paper-thin, and the real reason is because anything in the world they could possibly come up with would be better than spending any amount of time with me.
There is pretty much always a war going on in my head - Anxiety telling me one thing, and my logical mind arguing another. Sometimes Anxiety wins, sometimes logic does. But even when logic wins, Anxiety is there, whispering in my ear, making me question everything.
So when I’m excited about plans, and not already finding ways to get out of them (as Anxiety makes me do so often) and the other person cancels, obviously it’s because they’ve realized I’m not worth their time. Obviously they only made plans with me in the first place because they felt sorry for me or had not yet realized how completely boring I am.
I know this because I read minds.
What’s even worse is when I decide they don’t want to be around me because of my anxiety. I know how annoying it is. Believe me, I know. Who would want to spend time with a person who is constantly second-guessing every word you speak and every move you make?
Sure, I can be funny. I have my moments, I can be fun to be around. But with all that anxious electricity buzzing around me constantly, is it worth it? Surely not. I know – I read minds, after all.
Okay, so maybe I’m not a mind-reader. But I’m really good at convincing myself I know exactly what’s going on in other people’s heads. My logical mind doesn’t stand a chance against Anxiety, but I’m stubborn. I’ll keep fighting it.
Wanna place bets on who wins?