Guest Post: Hello, anxiety, my old friend!
Today's guest post is from an old friend who wishes to remain anonymous. Be sure to leave lots of positive comments about how brave she is for posting!Hello Anxiety, my old friend! You've come to reign terror again....and again....and again.
Anxiety, as far back as I can remember, has always been present in my life.
- Kindergarten: I remember separation anxiety when my mom had to drop me off at school and leave me.
- Sixth grade: I had anxiety about going to sleep away camp with my classmates & the possibility of being outed as a bed-wetter (it was a hormone issue....went to a urologist, got a nose spray, never wet the bed at camp or ever again).
- Junior high: I had major anxiety about going to school and facing an older bully (looking back, I actually feel sorry for her, not me).
- 27 years old: I had debilitating postpartum anxiety. My baby was diagnosed with meningitis at a week old and almost died. I was terrified for months after that to take him out in public for fear of illness.
When I was a kid, medication and healthy coping mechanisms weren't available to me. Mental health wasn't as widely talked about as it is now.
I found something that made me feel better, though – food. Food filled a need (hunger), made me feel safe and warm, & was always readily available. It became my Band-Aid.
So now, as an adult, I find myself slowly trying to undo all the bad habits I've learned along the way that got me through the days. I'm trying to not reach for the quick fix (mac-n-cheese) during a panic attack. Instead, I'm trying to up my long game & go for a walk, take a hot bath, focus on the positives, etc.
But it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Especially a 30-something year old dog who loves carbs and is exhausted by her responsibilities.