I love LP, but concerts are my own personal hell

I went to see an LP concert in Nashville last weekend. If you haven’t heard of LP, I highly recommend you look her up. My favorite song is Tightrope. Here, I'll post it so you can watch. I’ll wait.

So good, amirite?!

I’ve been looking forward to this concert for months. I first fell in love with LP’s distinctive voice about 12 years ago at a little bar in Kentucky. A friend’s band was opening up for her and he warned me that LP tends to be loud.

He was so right. She’s loud and fucking amazing.

When this short, skinny thing with unruly curly hair first came out on the stage there were whispers of “Is that a girl or a boy?” Man, when she starts to sing, there’s no question. Her voice has so much range and it’s just so damn unique.

I followed her website and saw her a handful of times in local bars. She once signed a poster for me that said something along the lines of “I like your boobs” – a joke that my then-boyfriend put her up to. There came news that she signed with a record la…

NAMI - Mental Illness Support Group

Yesterday I went to a National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) support group meeting. I went to support someone dear to me who has been recently diagnosed with mental illness.
I honestly didn’t think I’d get anything out of the meeting. I’ve been dealing with mental health issues for quite a while. I’ve done loads of research, taken a variety of medications, seen therapists, talked to friends who also struggle with mental health conditions… I figured there’s nothing they can say that will be helpful to me because I’m already a self-proclaimed expert.
I was so wrong.
When we arrived (ten minutes late, which already had me slightly anxious) I had a mild panic attack walking through the door. The small room was full. There was a circle of about 20 people sitting in chairs, with only one chair open. My heart started racing and the room seemed to shrink before my eyes. I went with three people – my security blanket. There was only one free chair. Chances were, I was going to be separated f…

It's My Birthday and I'll be Anxious if I Want To

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

It’s my birthday week! My birthday is the one time in the whole year I don’t mind being the center of attention.
Naturally, it’s also when I have the most anxiety.
I want to have a party with all of my friends. My home isn’t big enough for that, so I want to go out. The best time to get all of my friends together is a Friday or Saturday night. Most places where we would go out either don’t reserve space on Friday and Saturday nights, or they charge a hefty sum to do so.
So, first I’ll be anxious about arriving early enough to secure space for everyone. Then I’ll be anxious about everyone showing up. Wouldn’t want to offend the staff by taking up more space than I need! Then I’ll be anxious about more people showing up than I planned for, and not having enough space for everyone. Then I’ll be anxious about making sure to talk to all of my guests, not wanting anyone to feel left out.
Why do I want to go out again? Oh, that’s right – all year ‘round, I try …

I'm probably not screwing up my kids; Anxiety and Parenting

Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

I’m pretty sure every parent feels like they’re screwing up their kids at one point or another. With Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I pretty much always feel this way. Every time I say this there are a dozen people who assure me that it’s not the case, and they often feel the same way.  “Often.”

I’ve passed my anxiety issues on to my children. It’s the gift that keeps on giving! My son will probably end up being diagnosed with GAD like me. The poor kid is just like me, as far as anxiety goes – severe social anxiety, always worried about what others are thinking, doesn’t handle rejection well, and he’s pretty much terrified of life. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel massive guilt for the crappy genes I have passed on to my son. He even inherited my practically transparent skin. Poor kid.

How do you help a 6-year-old with social anxiety? You sign them up for extracurriculars! You encourage them to be around other kids so they form relationships and get…

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Anxiety!

Photo by Kat Love on Unsplash

Ladies and Gentlemen!  For your viewing pleasure, I present to you a list of things I’ve been anxious about today:
The teacher emailed me about how well my daughter is doing in class on her new medication. Anxiety told me I’m a bad mother because I didn’t get her on the medication sooner. I spent a solid half hour analyzing how the past month could have been different, had I done so.
When I went to lunch, the seats I usually sit in were taken. I had a moment of panic because Anxiety pointed out how difficult it might be to maneuver through the room full of tables with my chubby body and huge purse. I found a table that suited my needs and realized I’d left my tablet at my desk. There was no way I was going to abandon the table I’d secured to go back for the tablet. What if someone took the table, and then I was forced to go to the middle of the room, running into chairs with my ass and hitting people in the head with my purse?!
My boss suggested I speak with …

Anxiety Girl: The party guest you probably didn’t even know was there

Photo by Trinity  Kubassek from Pexels 

Social anxiety has always been the bane of my existence. And it’s not discreet. Almost always someone else is aware that something is wrong. More often than not, they just think I’m being weird or antisocial.
Or maybe no one actually notices, and that’s all in my head…
Take, for instance, the retirement party I had to throw yesterday. It’s part of my job. I put the whole thing together – ordered the food and drinks, cut the cake, presented the retirement gift, socialized with the guests… it was torture.
This is the third party I’ve had to organize since starting my job as an administrative assistant at a community college, and I’ve been lucky enough to have a few gals volunteer to help me out each time. That takes a bit of the pressure off.
The actual organization of the party isn’t the problem. A lot of it can be done online – oh how I love hiding behind the safety of the interwebs!
The actual set-up and execution are the parts I hate. The whole ti…

Turn it Off and On Again: Self-Care

Photo: The IT Crowd on BBC

In searching for quotes regarding self-care, I came across this gem:

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
– Anne Lamott

Naturally, it reminded me of The IT Crowd - "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

The quote is, of course, completely right. Sometimes you need to unplug and take care of yourself in order to function.

Parents, women, and people used to caring for others often forget about self-care. You get so wrapped up in taking care of everyone else that you neglect to take care of yourself. If you do too much of this, you end up burning all your matches before you’re even halfway through the day. I’ve made myself ill by continuing to do housework even though I’m emotionally exhausted.

I know I’m not alone. I’ve spoken with friends who describe going through the motions of responsibilities, while thinking they’ll fall over if they do one more thing. There was a time when I said I wished…